Dear Lindsay Lohan

There's no audience on earth like a captive audience.

I will try to write a postcard to Lindsay Lohan every day while she's in jail. Oh, and I'm Greg Rutter.

Sep 27

Sep 26
(click to enlarge)
Sunday, September 26th, 2010
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Have you ever left the house with the oven going? Of course not, no one does. I believe no one, since the late 1800s has. And yet everyone still worries about it when they leave the house. I believe this is all a big marketing ploy perpetuated by the oven makers of the world. “Did you turn your oven off today?” is probably their tagline.
-Greg Rutter

(click to enlarge)

Sunday, September 26th, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

Have you ever left the house with the oven going? Of course not, no one does. I believe no one, since the late 1800s has. And yet everyone still worries about it when they leave the house. I believe this is all a big marketing ploy perpetuated by the oven makers of the world. “Did you turn your oven off today?” is probably their tagline.

-Greg Rutter


Sep 25
(click to enlarge)
Saturday, September 25th, 2010
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
I bet some people get reincarnated as something they didn’t want. Like a weird, undiscovered fish or a plant that lives for a 1000 years or something. If that’s the case, that you don’t like what your reincarnation assignment is, just go with it. Unless you’re a lemming. Lemmings are just reincarnated people thinking “screw this assignment, I’m out of here!”
-Greg Rutter

(click to enlarge)

Saturday, September 25th, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

I bet some people get reincarnated as something they didn’t want. Like a weird, undiscovered fish or a plant that lives for a 1000 years or something. If that’s the case, that you don’t like what your reincarnation assignment is, just go with it. Unless you’re a lemming. Lemmings are just reincarnated people thinking “screw this assignment, I’m out of here!”

-Greg Rutter


Sep 24

UPDATE: LINDSAY LOHAN HEADS BACK TO JAIL

According to the LA Times Lindsay Lohan has gone back to jail after violating the terms of her probation.

So we’re back baby!

One small problem. I need her new address. Anyone have it? Email me greg dot rutter at gee mail dot com


Aug 2

(click to enlarge)
Monday, August 2nd, 2010
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
For the homeless the standard shopping cart has become the go to device for their way of life. But while these carts are plentiful they are not designed with the modern urban environment in mind. The cracks in the pavement grind it to a halt, nevermind the noise it makes lumbering down the street or the things that slip through the steel mesh. Sort of explains why they’re homeless to begin with: always taking the easy way out.
-Greg Rutter

(click to enlarge)

Monday, August 2nd, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

For the homeless the standard shopping cart has become the go to device for their way of life. But while these carts are plentiful they are not designed with the modern urban environment in mind. The cracks in the pavement grind it to a halt, nevermind the noise it makes lumbering down the street or the things that slip through the steel mesh. Sort of explains why they’re homeless to begin with: always taking the easy way out.

-Greg Rutter


Aug 1
(click to enlarge)
Sunday, August 1st, 2010
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
People who are worried about the end of the world always have advice about what you should hoarde. Water, canned food, weapons, clothing - everyone has a different theory. I guess you have to figure out what you want to fight for when roving gangs come to try and take it from you. I probably wouldn’t fight too hard for books or fuel or a car but if I had a shelter filled with beef jerky nobody would be getting in there that’s for sure.
-Greg Rutter

(click to enlarge)

Sunday, August 1st, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

People who are worried about the end of the world always have advice about what you should hoarde. Water, canned food, weapons, clothing - everyone has a different theory. I guess you have to figure out what you want to fight for when roving gangs come to try and take it from you. I probably wouldn’t fight too hard for books or fuel or a car but if I had a shelter filled with beef jerky nobody would be getting in there that’s for sure.

-Greg Rutter


Jul 31
(click to enlarge)
Saturday, July 31st, 2010
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
They say you can’t please all of the people all of the time, but what if you could please nearly all the people all of the time. I mean theoretically it’s possible. There’s someone that’s able to please 99.99% of the people every time they do something. Maybe there’s someone that can please everybody except for one person who just thinks that person can’t do anything right. Well that one guy is probably a big jerk who doesn’t appreciate anything anyway.
-Greg Rutter

(click to enlarge)

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

They say you can’t please all of the people all of the time, but what if you could please nearly all the people all of the time. I mean theoretically it’s possible. There’s someone that’s able to please 99.99% of the people every time they do something. Maybe there’s someone that can please everybody except for one person who just thinks that person can’t do anything right. Well that one guy is probably a big jerk who doesn’t appreciate anything anyway.

-Greg Rutter


Jul 30
(click to enlarge)
Friday, July 30th, 2010
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
I think a pretty good idea would be to put those stuffed deer heads but make outdoor versions of them. Of course you couldn’t make them out of real stuffed deer, but how much more impressive would it be to have a deer’s head on the wall of your house made out of steel. Anyone could shoot a deer, but now people visiting you will think you took down a steel one.
-Greg Rutter

(click to enlarge)

Friday, July 30th, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

I think a pretty good idea would be to put those stuffed deer heads but make outdoor versions of them. Of course you couldn’t make them out of real stuffed deer, but how much more impressive would it be to have a deer’s head on the wall of your house made out of steel. Anyone could shoot a deer, but now people visiting you will think you took down a steel one.

-Greg Rutter


Jul 29
(click to enlarge)
Thursday, July 29th, 2010
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
The coffeeshop I go to in the morning has a large sign that say “no checks” by the register. Personally I can’t ever imagine going through the trouble of a check – the pen-manship required, the line of eyes behind you, the pressure of spelling out the words – just because you’d rather keep the cash of $1.75 for a coffee. But someone must have kept writing a check every morning to necessitate the sign in the first place. That’s how life is: one person taking the time to ruin it for everyone else.
-Greg Rutter

(click to enlarge)

Thursday, July 29th, 2010

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

The coffeeshop I go to in the morning has a large sign that say “no checks” by the register. Personally I can’t ever imagine going through the trouble of a check – the pen-manship required, the line of eyes behind you, the pressure of spelling out the words – just because you’d rather keep the cash of $1.75 for a coffee. But someone must have kept writing a check every morning to necessitate the sign in the first place. That’s how life is: one person taking the time to ruin it for everyone else.

-Greg Rutter


Page 1 of 2